Woman. Legend. Blog. - American cynicism. Russian fatalism. Nutella.

Since the concert , I’ve been thinking about where I could meet Russian guys.

I mean, it’s not an active thing, but since you know how hypochondriac and fatalist and pessimistic I am (not to mention the fact that God loves to mess with me), it’s only natural that Mr. B’s and my relationship is too good to last and something will happen to one of us (knock on wood. Not like it will help.)

P.S. Do you know what is a bad activity for people who are afraid of sudden diseases and body paralysis? Horseback riding!

So I’ve been brainstorming about where I could meet someone that fulfills all of the following criteria:

easy on the eye (this is numero uno criteria right here)
nice Russian Jewish boy
much smarter than me
is really good at his job and is intellectually curious
loves to talk about politics
is kind to animals, children, and wives drunk on champagne
will spontaneously dance to Youtube videos of [Since the concert , I’ve been thinking about where I could meet Russian guys.

P.S. Do you know what is a bad activity for people who are afraid of sudden diseases and body paralysis? Horseback riding!

So I’ve been brainstorming about where I could meet someone that fulfills all of the following criteria:

easy on the eye (this is numero uno criteria right here)
nice Russian Jewish boy
much smarter than me
is really good at his job and is intellectually curious
loves to talk about politics
is kind to animals, children, and wives drunk on champagne
will spontaneously dance to Youtube videos of ](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ajc2UlmhXo4&feature=player_embedded) (Trey Songz is a plus)
believes women and girls can do anything, including eating cereal for dinner
will go to Jewish events with names like “Hookah in the Sukkah” and “Nosh Night” and not complain
will actually purchase a hookah from shady man in Tel Aviv
will light said hookah without burning himself
thinks my cooking is the best in the world even though what I do to chicken could technically be called genocide under the Geneva Convetion
will bullshit me and tell me I am attractive
will peel my oranges

It’s a pretty big list, but I am picking a person to spend the next X years with, not curtains. The problem is that you cannot meet people like this in Philadelphia because it is hard to find orange peelers. Let’s break it down.

The natural habitats for many Eastern European men out and about in the Philly metro area include:

Russian restaurants (BTW it’s cute how the non Eastern Euorpeans try to infiltrate our net)
The gym (Russian LA Fitness near Mr. B’s mom’s house)
Wherever there are foreign cars
Russian grocery stores

My natural habitats include:

The Russian gym, in the corner hiding from all the Russian ladies who are size negative 2
The Russian restaurants, at the table furthest away from the speakers, because- by God I think I’m going deaf from the music and what if I have to learn American Sign Language? did I mention I was fatalistic and pessimist?
My room, watching Disney videos on Youtube in Hebrew–I mean working on my novel and studying for the GRE
The Philadelphia Free Public Library
Nerd situations (ok, I have to admit that almost every outing I post on my blog is a nerd situation, so one link isn’t enough)
Maoz
The Russian grocery store Nutella aisle
My grandpa’s apartment

So basically, there is no way I would ever come across Russian Jewish fellows unless I stepped up my game; namely, started being less like Belle (WEIRD), or started to find places where weird guys hang out. I’m thinking UPenn, in which case, it’s time to stop watching Disney clips and start hitting the GRE/GMAT books. Really hard. Like $41,000 worth of Wharton MBA scholarships hard. Back to Youtube it is for me.

Fortunately the only guy I’m interested in can be found reliably in one place right now-with me from Friday night to midday Sunday. ( A++++, would marry again. )