White people experiencing first world problems while reading

White people, known to be frequently prone to complaining about first-world problems, are now having huge difficulties reading on their $200+ reading devices, reports the First World Problem Newspaper of Record.

“It’s so hard,” a White Person that was interviewed recently reports. “Just as soon as I sit down to read in my air-conditioned house that’s not located anywhere near a warzone or a country that can’t hit the learn button and continuously re-elects a man that looks like death incarnate AND which has running potable water, I get distracted.”

“Oh yeah,” another White Person reported.  “If only there was a way to disable the internet on my $200+ reading device that can do virtually anything and get some real reading done.”

“Technology. It will be the fall of us all,” a third White Person shook his head sadly, and the three white people went to go get cappuccino.