Why does American radio suck so much?

Every time I start driving to get to work, I get progressively angrier. Thankfully, this time my new job’s only 25 minutes away, but that’s 25 minutes of either radio or audiobooks. I love both audiobooks and public radio, and would highly recommend both to anyone doing a commute, but sometimes I get tired of  NPR gently telling me that global warming, racism,  ISIS and gluten-intolerance are all my fault,  and I  just want to listen to music.

The problem with American music stations is they SUCK. There is no other word for it. Which is why, when I’m at home, I usually listen to European radio. But it seems unfair that the American listening public is subjected to the same 20-not even 40-songs over and over again, and even those songs are all the same.

Every day as I drive, I wonder in rage, not about measles outbreaks or genetically-modified vegetables, but why the hell the American public is ok with shitty radio.

I did a little digging, and aside from the fact that the American music industry is completely messed up, I was surprised to find that I’m the key demographic for this bullshit:

The Top40 format is generally targeted toward Women 18-34 years old. So, if you don’t fit into that life-group, you’re not likely to be interested in a lot of the music we play on those stations. Of course, Top 40 attempts to reach a broader audience as well including Men and most target teens/college students at night….Women 18-34 are our bread and butter there.

These women are generally very busy. Often they’re trying to balance career, kids, appointments, etc. They’re in the car a lot but for relatively short periods of time. In order to keep their interest, we try to keep things very fast paced content-wise. We’re also doing our best to make sure that as soon as they turn on our station, they’re going to hear a very popular hit song. We don’t waste time with a lot of “filler” on these stations. Thus, most of the music you’ll hear is relatively new – released within the last two years or so. The DJs keep their breaks quick. We know we don’t have a lot of time to reel in these women.

So basically I am listening to the music that’s targeted directly to me.  And I have to say I hate it, for the exact same reasons that Jia Tolentino rages against it in this Hairpin piece on the newest terrible American song, “Rude”:

The first time I heard “Rude” I thought it was a 1-800-411-PAIN ad, because Detroit radio is currently running one that sounds sort of like a more palatable version of “Rude.” The next couple of times I had the sort of physical reaction I associate with suddenly coming in contact with bees; before my mind could process what was happening, I pawed at my radio dial quickly, ahhh, get it away!

Get it away from me, and by it I mean mindless American radio. I suppose I could subscribe to Pandora or Spotify or play Grooveshark mobile, but that defies the whole point of this rant which is that I’m a music snob and all 50 million or howevermany 18-34 women there are should listen to the stuff I listen to, which is all this stuff. Get on it, radio stations.

NPR, if you’re listening, maybe you can throw some of this in between alarmist reports of ebola or farming bluefin tuna. Or better yet, instead of.